Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Letter To The Draper Family Of 'Mad Men' From The Black Maid

I am not a close follower of AMC's Mad Men.  I have caught any episodes that have been currently on demand when there is nothing of interest on television.   To tell you how closely I follow it, I didn't even know there was a Black maid on the show.  Ha!  I know that the show has become a bit of a phenomenon and with the premiere of it's fourth season days away I stumbled upon this and thought I would pass it along to you.  Enjoy!

Dear Drapers: A letter to 'Mad Men's' first family from their Black maid

"I have a 3 second break between taking care of your family and mine."

Kartina Richardson

Dear Drapers,

Season 4 of Mad Men is about to start. My summer was really nice not that you asked, and I'm not looking forward to coming back into your crazy house of sex, lies, and bratty kids (thanks for popping another one out, that's exactly what we all needed). Now that darling Bets is gone, it's up to me to take care of the house and I have a few things to say. I know I usually don't talk, even though we all know what was going on in the Sixties. I think the writers are troubled and don't really know how to address race in a smart way without it taking over the whole story. They probably think:

"The show is about Don, not black people, but let's make Carla extra dignified and sometimes she can show the audience that she is aware of bullshit by giving little grimaces. That way Carla becomes someone who's witnessing. She's on the sidelines but she has the power of judgment. That's even better! That way we can cover our race bases without it getting in the way. Kind of like the black guy in Ghostbusters."

Oh, they think they're so clever. Well I don't buy that dubious explanation. I don't want the power of judgment. I want a full plot line dammit. Maybe Roger has a butler and he and I can get together. I mean really get together, and our hot passionate love affair will bring us on a freedom ride down to Alabama where we will love each other in the sticky, sweaty Alabaman heat... and Sterling Cooper has some business down there and they do some advertising blah blah blah.

But in the meantime I have a few things I need to get off my chest before everything begins again on Sunday.

First, can I get a drink every now and then? Jesus. You all drink a bottle of whiskey every two seconds whenever, wherever, so it's not like I have to be sober to watch the children. Don't even. It would be a hell of a lot easier to deal with whatever new craziness Betty's dad is going to bring to the table if I was a little drunk. Oh he's dead. Sorry. (Not really. He was a real jackass to me).

And by the way Don, thank you for screwing up my life even more with your constant cheating. Now Betty is gone and I'm either
A) Going to have to live with Henry and I know his maid and she's a b---- and we do not get along.

B) Betty will leave the kids with you and I'll have to do everything myself and work longer hours.
C) You'll fire me (but I'm your only black character and tie to the Civil Rights Movement so how could you fire me?)

I know you don't know who you are and you've got a million identity issues, your dad was a real s--- and... wait, wait, do you hear that? It's the world's tiniest violin playing just for you. Guess what? My family all lives in Mississippi. You know what's going on there? Oh just the Ku Klux Klan, lynchings, murders, and an overall air of fear and violence. In fact in June of this year, three civil rights workers will be murdered during Freedom Summer. So cry me a river mystery man (the Klan will probably use it to dump bodies in but no big deal let me fix you a sandwich).

Speaking of Freedom Summer, President Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act in June and Martin Luther King Jr. is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Can I get a little freedom away from your family for this? I would like to celebrate with my family. I would not like to be standing in the kitchen, drying my hands on a towel while Sally eats a hot dog and Bobby says "I don't like brussel sprouts." For real you don't like brussel sprouts? You know what my kids don't like? Being black in 1964. Why? Because if you're not on Motown Records it sucks.

Oh and Betty, I hate you. I have always hated you. I've never shown it because I've always thought you were crazy. Like the silent psychopathic type capable of anything. That time you shot the neighbor's pigeons confirmed this. Oh hell yeah I saw that.

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Thanks for stopping by,


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